UPDATE: The source of information I used for this post was a hoax and I completely fell for it. I leave my original post here for your laughing pleasure (laughing at me that is). Enjoy!

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Twitter unveiled new premium accounts that allow users/companies to pay a monthly fee for additional services. Here is the breakdown of available premium accounts:

• Sparrow ($5/month) – Users get 145 character limit, 5 extra random followers.

• Dove ($15/month) – Users get 160 character limit, 25 extra random followers, 1 random celebrity follower, auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” T-shirt.

• Owl ($50/month) – Users get 250 character limit, 100 extra random followers, 2 random celebrity followers, 30 minutes on recommended list, auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” hoodie.

• Eagle ($250/month) – Users get 500 character limit, 1000 extra random followers, 3 celebrity followers of their choice, 5 hours on recommended list each month, Twitter Concierge for Tweeting while user is asleep or busy (and more), auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” tuxedo, custom “Fail Whale” page when service is down.

5 Reasons why this business model will work

1. Twitter is being talked about on every major news station. With all that buzz, Twitter will receive LOTS of business from marketers who don’t want to miss out on this hot new trend.
2. Most promotions take more than 140 characters to explain (and that’s not taking into account the url). It’s worth paying for more characters.
3. A couple of hundred dollars a month is a drop in the bucket when looking at what marketers typically spend on marketing their brands.
4. It adds value that 3rd party services can’t compete against.
5. Many marketers need a cost to justify ROI. Free doesn’t make sense. This provides the cost basis for adding Twitter to marketing campaigns.

5 Reasons why this business model won’t work

1. There isn’t enough value added to justify the costs. If you need 500 characters to say something, split it up amongst multiple tweets or make a web page and link to it.
2. Random followers don’t help. Businesses want targeted followers.
3. The Recommended List is just a list of people who can afford to be there. Users will see through the charade.
4. Who wants a custom “fail whale” page? That shows the user that not only is Twitter down, but also that business’ communication.
5. Who cares if a celebrity is following you? Would you care if M.C. Hammer is following Cisco?